Syncronicity

Almond Tree in Blossom, Pierre Bonnard (c.1945)

As 2009 comes to an end, I cannot help but feel a sense of relief. The thought of a new year, a fresh perspective, some lessons learnt and a full moon seems all too inviting.

For so many people, this past year has been unsettling. We each have had our different struggles with work, finances, relationships or more personal issues like what is my life purpose, why am I on this path or how can I change the path I am on? Regardless, these are all shifts on a spiritual level. Those who are consciously aware of the current changes around us embrace them, difficult as they may be. Others are unaware of the spiritual significance on a conscious level as they feel the effects of a transformation that is not fully understood.

There are other connections to this shift in Mother Earth such as the dramatic weather patterns and climate changes. I believe the connection relates to the upcoming change in dimension as spoken of in the 2012 Mayan calendar. It was explained to me simply in that we are currently in the Age of Aquarius, and this new dimension, this shift, will be the next Age.

It is synchronicity.

I don’t believe there will be catastrophic disasters of extreme magnitude as seen in the movie. The changes in weather that we see are simply Mother Earth’s way of rectifying the planet, to rebalance the damage that man has caused through industrialised capitalism. Clearly, digging up the planet for natural resources and sucking her dry is not the answer to our political problems. But this is another blog entirely!

Limitations

Eugene Delacroix, Liberty Leading the People (1830)

We each of us create our own limitations in life. Limitations are usually established from fear and can prevent us from moving forward on our life journey. The fear to step outside of the box or beyond what we consider normal, the fear to try something new or to be different can be overwhelming. Fear is a very real thought process of our daily life. It is so much easier to stick to what we know, to choose the path that we usually take – the comfortable, safe route.

The notion of breaking free from limitations was raised at one of my yoga classes with reference to finding the courage to try a new pose. I stopped, took a few breaths and focussed on the pose. I realised that what the teacher was saying was true. Once I tried the posture, it became obvious that it really was not as difficult as I thought. With a little more practice and determination I would only improve and eventually I would be able to maintain the pose with confidence. I have already seen this come to fruition with my practice in many other poses.

But then it dawned on me that this thought process could easily be applied to every aspect of life. To keep going forward, we need to embrace change, open our eyes to new opportunities and learn from others. There is no reason to limit ourselves, only to believe.

A message

Leonardo da Vinci, Vatruvian Man (1487)

Last nights yoga class was amazing. The summer heat and humidity meant that the heaters were not required. It wasn't long before I had created enough internal heat to begin sweating. As I tried to reconnect to my fading practice, I felt strong. It felt good to return to a class I once considered a regular and a favourite.

I never anticipate the message I pick up on during class but I always seem to receive one. And tonight's message was to remember that the ninety minutes I spend in class is for me. Even though there is a class full of other yogi's with similar intentions, the teacher reminded us to close our eyes and imagine there was no-one else around. This draws the attention within to what we feel, rather than relying on the mirrors or what we think the posture should look like. Sometimes, this is counter productive and we lose our balance. But I find it does help. Closing the eyes assists in creating a better focus and as our strength improves, so does our balance.

And I did make this class about me, for me. I concentrated on my breath to flow with every move. I shut my mind to the chatter and distraction. I focused on my practice only. It was exhilarating.

Transition

As I transition through this shift, I am overwhelmed with apathy. I manage to get by at work with doing the absolute minimum. My desire to be creative is slim and my need to attend yoga is minimal.

I feel constantly exhausted. I am completely burnt out.

It feels like I have been forced to stop, to take the time to step back, reassess and enjoy life. I am struggling with the internal mental battle of accepting that I don't need to go to yoga every day. My mind keeps telling me I should be going to yoga while my body just wants to rest. It is hard to switch that voice off - it's like a plague of guilt hanging over me.

Saying 'no' at work has been my greatest respite. I accept that I don't have take responsibility for everything. Actually, I am getting pretty good at not being a control freak at work anymore but I also know it is ok to allow myself to travel through this phase, to allow my body to rest. Sitting still is not something that comes easy for me as someone who usually juggles life and gives 150% in everything.

So I have decided that my health is far more important and it is vital to take some time - often, to nurture and replenish.

Thank you to my friends who continue to support me as I travel on this path, providing me with your guidance and wisdom.

Transformation

In searching for my mojo - my inspiration, creativity and zest for life, I have entrenched myself into meditation. Meditating daily to reflect, explore and just see what comes up. I particularly enjoy meditating in nature, taking in the green energy from plant life. Nature has so much energy. It is a healing source in abundance.

Through my meditation, and contemplation, I have realised that I place a lot of pressure on myself. At work I feel that I must be seen at certain events or to do certain things because of my position. At home I become displaced if I don't participate in a minimum number of yoga classes per week, or if I don't keep up with the course work set by my uni lecturers. I have created rules in my life and have abided by these for so many years that it is now a difficult cycle to break.

Since falling ill, I have begun to really listen to my body and inner intuition. I have started to take the time to nurture my needs and it is as if the illness has forced me to do this. The human body is a complex and intelligent system - it is quite likely this is exactly what it was doing.

But more than this, I look at so many things differently - in every aspect of my life. I am asking myself questions that I thought I knew the answers to. My spiritual curiosity is at its forefront and I am seeking knowledge through other spheres. My astral communication and visualisation is highly active through my dreams. This can be a lot of information to absorb, but I feel that perhaps I am now ready to receive these messages and, just maybe, this whole experience has been a necessary role in my transformation.

Uninspired

The Scream, Edvard Munch, 1893

I was completely knocked off my feet by a horrible virus. I couldn’t get out of bed for two days and it lingered for weeks. Even today, I had to take a mid-afternoon nanna nap as I just can’t shake this feeling of exhaustion.

On top of that, I feel completely uninspired. I usually find it pretty easy to find something to say, something to write about – ideas normally float out of my imagination daily. But not at the moment. This exhaustion has impacted me physically and mentally. It was as if my body decided it was time for me to stop, completely stand still and take time out for myself.

On a positive note, uni has finished for the year and I am winding up at work ready for a well deserved vacation. I plan to watch as much tv as I can, sit in my garden and meditate. And of course practice as much yoga that feels healthy. Hopefully my inspiration will return.

Sunday bliss

Norman Lindsay, The Blue Hat 1948

Sunday's are great. Sleep ins, indulgent breakfasts, midday yoga, lazy afternoons.

I particularly like lazy afternoons, under a tree watching the branches and leaves sway gently in the breeze. Reading a book. Maybe a movie lounging on the sofa. Or Sunday evening cocktails with friends. Sunday transitions the week between last week and the new week ahead. The unknown. Sunday's are bliss.

Negativity

Edward Burne-Jones, The Wheel of Fortune, 1875-1883

I have been without internet access or a home phone connection for almost three weeks, until now. It was amazing to see how much I have become reliant on technology. I pretty much use the internet every day, whether it's to post here on my blog, research for uni, check out the weather or what's on tv.

What was really interesting was how irritated I felt when things did not go according to my plan and I did not receive the support and service I thought I should. I was already suffering from a flu virus which didn't help matters. Not only was I irritable, I was rude to people trying to help me.

Is it that our expectations are too high, or is it that our service industry is lacking? I have always thought it was the latter. Maybe this is the case but it does not excuse rude behaviour, even if the other person was rude first. I felt awful for being so horrible and demanding, even though I had already apologised the damage had been done. The bad energy was already out there. It was unnecessary and out of character for me.

The negative energy I created was wasted energy. It stores in the body and becomes toxic. Many health practitioners believe this is where most of our modern ailments arise from. And it is not surprising if this is the society we have developed for ourselves to live in. It is far easier, and kinder for everyone, to take a deep breath and accept the situation. Not always easy to do but something I will try to remember.

It's a journey

Last week was tough. Long hours at work, no time for a yoga practice, not much time for study and on top of all that I didn’t feel well. It was an emotional week.

My Sunday ritual of attending yoga pulled me through to new levels of experience. I was unsure of my energy levels walking in so allowed myself to settle in with an enjoyable pre-class meditation. We ease into the rhythm with lots of breathing exercises, a nice way to start. My focus and breathing is pretty good. I feel ok without pushing too hard. As we move into standing poses, Dancers, I hold the asana with ease. I feel great, this one is always a challenge and I can hold the pose for the duration, slowly going deeper and deeper.

Suddenly I am overcome. I recognise the feeling, any hot room practitioner knows it. Waves of nausea rushing the blood down from the top of your head, leaving a sick feeling. Oh no. Oh yes this was happening! Ok, I decide I need to let it happen. I take Childs pose and accept what I am feeling. My body was detoxifying and shedding unnecessary toxins. The emotions from the previous week had built up and needed to be released. And this was the perfect way for it to happen. I felt so relieved, like a burden had lifted.

I am so grateful for my yoga practice and the amazing journey it takes me on.

Chakra's

A few days ago I had a sudden urge to learn more about Chakra's. It's something I have been interested in for a long time but sometimes we are just not ready to embrace a new idea. I can only think this was true for me as I have this little pocket book about Chakra's, a simpleton's guide, and I have never been able to digest any of its content. Until now. I read it, I devoured it. Finally, it made sense!

Instinctively, I knew which of my Chakra's was open and which ones needed work. A friend suggested I do some meditation on them all, cleansing each sphere to allow growth and development. I had never tried meditating on my Chakra's before so I was surprised at how easily I slipped into a visualisation of each colour spinning in its relative position. I used the sun and the moon for ying and yang, masculine and feminine energy to revitalise all my spheres.

It felt amazing. It felt right. There is still more work to do, but I feel that I can now approach this with more confidence and hopefully more regularly.

Gratitude

Symbol of Gratitude

When I stop to think about the things I am grateful for I feel humbled. I no longer worry. I no longer feel the need to fill my life with materialistic possessions, or as I like to refer to it as ‘stuff’.

Gratitude is powerful. It creates a sense of calm. Being thankful for the goodness in our lives takes the focus away from the negative. It is much easier to deliberate over destructive events and behaviours. We all experience them and at times they can be overwhelming. It is especially during these difficult times that gratitude carries its deepest meaning.

A few weeks back I began writing a worry diary. Every day I write ‘Today I worried about…’ Some days I worry lots. Some days I worry about silly things. Nevertheless, worry is negative energy that manifests itself into greater disappointments. At the same time I began a grateful diary. Every day I write ‘Today I am grateful for…’ And again, some days I have lots to be grateful about and others not so much.

I now seriously think about things that I worry about and realise they don’t deserve so much attention. Instead, I am grateful for my health, yoga, the rain, the full moon. My awareness is more centred and I am now truly grateful for the simple things in my life.

Presence

Lady Lilith, Dante Gabriel Rossetti 1868

Sunday yoga is like my own personal religion. I make it a habit to go each week and the varying times in classes means that I can usually fit it in around social commitments. Yesterday I consciously decided that the class would be about me. I don’t mean that in an egotistical manner but rather that I would not look at or worry what other practitioners were doing. I would keep the focus on my breath and each breath would flow with movement. By the time the class was almost over, I did not want it to be. I honestly felt that this was exactly where I wanted to be, where I should be.

By staying present in the moment, in each breath, in each asana, I connected to my vinyasa and was able to flow. I opened my heart and my mind, pushing a little bit further in some poses and in others recognising fatigue. Maybe it was the the full moon or inclement weather that allowed me to be so present. Regardless, herein lies the ultimate challenge in yoga as we struggle to switch off the mind chatter, ignore the surrounding sights and sounds and just be.

Over it

Sleep of Reason, Goya 1797

I have blogged before about trying to find balance between a demanding job and part-time study. I feel pretty bad that I can't seem to manage the ups and downs of my life when I don't have to juggle a family as well. I know plenty of people who do all of this and then go home to look after the family at the end of the day. At the same time, I have friends who share my sentiment and feel its is doubly hard to manage doing it all alone.

A colleague at work suggested I read a book called Thirty Something and Over It, for a laugh if nothing else. Sure enough, the book was very easy to relate to and hit home on a number of issues especially since the author worked in a very similar environment. I started to question what it is that I actually do. I mean, I know what I do on a day to day basis but I can't see how this really adds value to society, let alone to my life. Working for large corporations lack substance and meaning. It seems to be largely fluff and fold.

So back to this book. By the end I realised that everyone absolutely needs balance in their life. To continue to work for heartless conglomerates one must have other interests. It is imperative to make time for relationships, family, friends, hobbies, sports and general down time. Lets face it, big corporations simply pay better so the opportunity to maintain a reasonable lifestyle is available and largely the reason why so many people do it. Money certainly isn't everything but it can make life a little easier and it can also allow time to focus on the things that are important to us, so long as the balance is there.

For almost two weeks now I have reduced my working hours to somewhat 'normal'. Well, its probably still longer than some of my peers but its considerably less than before and I feel like a completely different person. Its amazing how easy it is to get sucked into the dredge of being at work for lengthy hours week after week. Its too easy and it shouldn't be. In fact, its harder to make the effort for change but the results are wondrous.

Accomplishment

Its such a wonderful feeling to finally be able to achieve a pose. I seem to have so many limitations from old injuries and it feels like it takes me that much longer to master poses when my yoga friends appear to move into each asana gracefully.  I know that this is just setting myself up for disappointment, comparing to others in yoga is frowned upon as everyone is in a very different place.  And I know that even though my peers look like they flow into every pose with ease, this is not necessarily so.  Still, it can be incredibly frustrating.

So when I was able to balance my weight in my hands in Crow pose for the first time and when I was able to finally get my head and shoulders off the ground in Wheel – I was so excited.  Now, I try to improve on those poses, create better form and hold them for at least five breaths.  Its still a challenge, but one that I cherish.

This is one of the great benefits of yoga, a sense of accomplishment that can be completely overwhelming.  

Architecture

Everywhere I go, I notice the architecture of the buildings around me. Whether I am travelling abroad, to another city or simply walking down the street, I notice the way cleverly designed buildings make me feel. Imagine the Potala Palace in Lhasa was built around the 7th Century AD.  I particularly like the European Gothic grandeur with its intricate detail found throughout Europe.  And of course New York City with its amazing skyline of geometrically and architecturally stunning buildings commonly designed throughout the Art Deco period.

Full Moon

Often the full moon unknowingly brings chaos to our lives.  People behave erratically, and experience a momentary lapse in their usual demeanour. The police are become inundated with calls and more so if the full moon happens to occur on a Friday or Saturday night. 

For me, the full moon conveys an equanimity – a soothing calmness, like listening to rain fall whilst laying in bed. It’s a marvellous big ball of light in the sky and I am always astonished at its bright luminosity.

However, the waning moon, which falls immediately after the full moon, brings up emotion and a stronger sense of intuition. My intuition is pretty sharp most of the time but seems to heighten at this time.  The body becomes much more responsive to detox, both mentally and physically.  Sometimes we hold onto negative energy and this moon cycle will help eliminate the toxins. It is important to acknowledge feelings and emotions when they arise. Without this release of energy we create blockages that prevent us from moving on, continuing with our life path and journey. Be kind, accept and forgive. 

Friends

I love that so many of my friends are finding their creative energy. This is the invitation a friend designed for his birthday bash, which I thought was pretty impressive. 

The theme is the Rocky Sound of Oz Fever. Yes its fancy dress and there is so much choice with characters from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz or Saturday Night Fever.  Simply something for everyone!

Downtime

I’ve just been through the inconvenience of losing my telephone and internet connection.  Its really quite silly and interesting how we are now a society who relies so heavily on cyberspace, especially since I remember the latest in modern technology was a clunky rotary dial phone fixed to your kitchen wall. Message bank and mobile phones were unheard of; you just called back later.

Everything has sped up creating bigger and faster downloads, wireless connections and handheld devices that do it all. Since I started studying again, I made the decision to connect with the biggest monopoly in the telecommunications market, purely for reliability.  Many a time I have logged on at midnight or 5am in a desperate bid to squeeze in a bit more research for my latest paper. I didn’t and don’t want to have to waste time with ‘busy’ periods and being booted out of the system.  But I think that in our busy, bigger and faster world that these days are now gone.  So many more services are available, many of them quite reliable and considerably cheaper.

When I reported the fault with my provider there had been some strong winds so I assumed this was the cause for losing my connection. Perhaps it was the reason but there was never any definitive answer or logical explanation given.  Additionally, I had to wait 24 hours before a technician would even take a look at it and I was promptly told that if the error was due to a hardware fault I would be charged a fee. The customer service was, not surprisingly, lacking. Ok, it wasn’t dire circumstances. I do have a paper due next week and I am currently two weeks behind my course work.  My problem – granted, but I do expect to have a reliable connection so that I can get on with it, at least thats what I pay for. 

The whole experience was quite frustrating. I became irritable, annoyed and lost my patience. I disliked the way I had become so reliant on modern technology and the way this experience made me feel. The reality is that this is how we live, these are the ways of modern society and technology in the twenty first century. If we don't keep up we just get left behind with constant updates and changes.  I could end with a cliche and suggest becoming a hermit on top of a mountain somewhere but I think even the reality of this is becoming less of a possibility.

Acceptance

Tonight my yoga teacher talked about acceptance. He relayed a story about a student who had expressed their concern by a recent weight gain. Most of us practitioners tend to think that with regular time spent in the hot room you will lose weight. The teacher suggested that perhaps this increase in weight was natures course for this individual. By trying to lose the added weight it might be going against the natural course of the body. Obviously this person did not have a serious weight condition or he would not have suggested this, but it made a lot of sense. 

For many of us, we can achieve the ‘ideal’ body weight or image so often displayed on the cover of magazines or flaunted by models and movie stars.  To do so, requires us to put our bodies under the stress of the gym junkie lifestyle - continuously working out, dieting and comparing.  We are constantly trying to be something we are not. Why can’t we just be? Why can’t we be happy with who we are?

The yogic breath teaches us to stop and be entirely in the moment.  The vinyasa flow of movement along with the breath creates heat from within the body and a still mind. Through regular yoga practice the body will develop its shape and strength naturally.  Acceptance.  If I accept who I am then others will accept me, embrace me, it’s a natural path to happiness.  

Salvador Dali

Archaeological Reminiscence of Millet's Angelus, 1935

The Persistence of Memory, 1931

Very recently I had the pleasure of viewing an extraordinary exhibition by Salvador Dali. Throughout my years of studying art I have always admired his remarkable talent but have never had the opportunity to see so much of his work.  He truly was a creative force. We all know Dali as the Surrealist and his unusual paintings, particularly The Persistence of Memory, 1931 which reminds me of my teenage years listening to Pink Floyd’s album Dark Side of the Moon and the psychedelic movie The Wall. 

But there really was so much more to this man - artist, painter, designer, sculptor, jeweller and film maker. Not only did he live a long and interesting life, he mastered every medium and creative task he undertook.  I have a new found respect for yet another great master.

Letting it flow

Medicine (1901)

Gustav Klimt

I have a demanding job.  I love to practice yoga. Normally, the vinyasa and meditation provide balance and peace.  Except that I have the added challenge of trying to complete a degree as well. 

The first half of this calendar year was exhausting and it eventually got to the point where there was no balance in my life.  I only just passed my end of term exam by one and a half marks. I spent so much time at work that I simply was not prepared.  Luckily for me, I worked pretty hard throughout the term to get good grades on my papers so managed to achieve an overall credit. 

I found the only way I could switch off from work, come home and write papers, was to have a glass of wine.  Except, it wasn’t just one glass but two or three – almost every night. The less often I practiced yoga, my breath and vinyasa, the more alcohol I consumed. This certainly is not a habit I want to fall into each term but hey, the results were there so I really can’t complain. But most students I know drink whilst writing papers.  

Maybe this is a cultural manifestation society has created.  I mean, if you look at many creditable artists or writers they all spent most of their time out of it. During Paris in the early 1900s, Impressionists, Fauvists and Dadists hung out in cafes and bars drinking for days only to go home and create some great masterpiece.  And then of course there are the extremists like Jackson Pollock who spent most of his life in a drunken stupor. 

Clearly there is something to be said for alcohol and mind altering substances to release creativity. Its a little bit sad that we live in such crazy and busy times that we need assistance to get in touch with our emotions and let the creativity flow. 

Release

The last few weeks have taken me on an emotional roller coaster.  I think it is just life's way of reminding me that it can't always be a bed of roses, so to speak. Funnily enough, I have never thought my life was easy with everything falling into place but I have finally felt as though I was comfortable where I knew what I wanted and which direction I was headed. Its only taken me thirty something years to get here but I can honestly say I am happy.  No sense in a good thing going on for too long now is there!

When I suffer emotional turmoil, I especially feel it in my hips - as do many women.  The hips is the emotional store house and mine just ache. My first yoga class after a few days off was difficult.  A class that I normally breeze through and hold my poses with strength and integrity became weak and overwhelming.  This is a good, it means all that stuff is releasing, freeing me from my angst.  By the end of that class I felt so much more open, not just in my hips but in my heart as well. The next few classes I went to all seemed to have a lot of emphasis on hip opening stretches and boy did I feel it - that horse is a killer! But there are so many fantastic hip opening poses in yoga like frog or half pigeon.

Yoga has so many benefits.  I first started to attend Bikram classes after four months in physio from a running injury. It was the nearest adrenaline rush to a good run.  But now, I love the mental aspect, the meditation, as well as the health benefits and strength that naturally develops. 

Recently, a chiropractor suggested I have some x-rays of my spine which revealed some damage from a fall I had about twenty years ago.  So it seems the running injury was just an offset from my spine damage. In a way, its nice to finally know that all these years of discomfort was real and not in my head.  I'm not a crazy lady! The scary part is that no-one bothered to investigate before now.  Luckily for me, its just a matter of re-educating my spine to limber up in certain areas. Yoga is now a way of life.

Conscious choices

In an ever growing conscious consumer society, we look for more environmental ways to be green in our every day living. We eat organic food, buy produce from the farmers markets, use non-chemical cleaning products and try to reduce our carbon footprint more and more.  Some of us have been doing these things for years but it is great to see so many people finally listening and realising that we really do need to make changes to sustain our planet.

The choices we make every day are evident in the products we purchase.  It is up to us to be responsible consumers by researching and investigating the products you use.  The cosmetics and pharmaceutical companies are the worst offenders. Learn to read labels.  In today’s modern world there is absolutely no need for harsh chemicals or animal testing.  There is no need for animals to suffer – its barbaric.  Plenty of companies are now making products with plants or non-harmful synthetics.  Check out PETA's list of 'Companies that do and do not test on animals' or the Choose Cruelty Free list.  Most companies using natural products also don't test on animals, it kind of goes hand in hand with nature.  And this is what is really about - respecting ourselves and the natural environment we live in.

Bread & Honey

Here is a favourite blog that I have followed for some time now, even before I decided to create my own.  Its quirky and all about food.  Okay, so its not a vegetarian site with raves about meatballs and salami but it doesn't have to be. bread & honey seems to be all about good tasty food. I have yet to try my hand at any of these creations but after watching the MasterChef challenge maybe its time to give it a whirl.

Taking back the power

Do you ever have one of those weeks where things happen and you believe it was all for a reason? Last week my usual schedule of 50+ hours at work then home to study for whatever I can manage was massively reduced. In my delight, I started to attend 6am yoga classes. It was great! I felt fantastic both physically and mentally before I even started work. Several people commented to me that week that I should be able to regain my power enabling me to fulfil my work commitments yet still have time to do other things.  I started to think about what they had individually said to me, each with very different careers. Why can't I have some balance in my life?  I should be able to take a bit of time out once or twice a week to do something that is good for me.  After all, healthy mind, healthy body equals more productivity at work right?  I seem to have this guilt hanging over me that says working in corporate means you have to work excessively long hours.  Sure the work is there, I mean, I certainly don't sit around with nothing to do all day. But where did this guilt come from?  Perhaps it is my own doing.  Subconsciously I may have brought this on myself thinking that my role requires me to work certain hours.  But does it?  I am now beginning to question this and I think that if I regain my own inner power then I can manage a balance between career and a personal life.  I guess it just comes down to me to make the choice, to make the changes and believe in myself.

Inspiration

These are photographs taken by a friend of mine.  I think she has quite a talent for capturing the more artistic image. Check out her website here.

Classic stories

I recently finished reading the New York Times best seller Pride, Prejudice and Zombies.  This spoof was an absolute must read for me.  I love a good classic and have read the original several times. 

I suppose the Jane Austen die-hard would not be impressed by the Bennett sisters slaying of zombies known as the 'unmentionables' who seem to be a menace like the plague. It wasn't quite as amusing as I was hoping but I did manage a few out loud laughs, which is unusual for me. Although, I found my greatest anticipation was in waiting to find out how Charlotte Lucas would come to her demise.

Many books have been written in more recent times trying to capture Mr Darcy's version of the romantic novel in Mr Darcy's Diaries and the more sordid epilogue to Pride & Prejudice - Mr Darcy takes a wife.  The latter is more like a novel from the Mills & Boon collection but gives you all the raunchy tales of married life that Austen never dared to deliver on. 

And the list goes on.  You only need to google Mr Darcy to see what comes up or type in any number of combinations into Amazon books to see that this subject carries a great fascination. 

These are only the ones I have read but for now its back to serious reading with university about to kick off again. My current book list includes Bram Stoker's Dracula, so how happy am I!

I was a demon slayer

Dreams. We all have them. Mine seem to be regular and colourful, and I don't just mean the opposite to black and white.  This one was kind of hilarious...

A couple of weeks ago I dreamt I was a demon slayer. In Buffy-esk style, I was minding my own business buying tomatoes from the local green grocer. Of course the gorgeous man beside me was all mine and we were enjoying a quiet moment whilst I picked out the best fruit. Suddenly, someone bursts through the door screaming for help as a demon was on the loose and up to no good. Sure enough, there she was. Big and ugly. Standing on the doorstep of the store I was in, of all things. I was quite annoyed that my vegetable shopping was interrupted but I quietly asked my beau to run and fetch my sword. Yes, all this was in my dream. But wait, there's more. I pay for my groceries and ask the keeper to mind them for me while I take care of business. It seemed I was a regular at this store and the owner knew me well.  So with my sword in hand, I burst through the door taking the demon by surprise and taking off its head in one clean manouvre. Then everything went back to normal.

Me thinks I have been watching too many science fiction dramas but I'm going to run with it, maybe theres a story in there.  And if not, this one was a good laugh - at least my friends thought so.

Contemplation...

Ahhh, Wimbledon

Its one of the most exciting sporting events of the year.  Not just for the spectators but for the players too.  Everyone wants to attend a game of tennis at Wimbledon.  All the players want to qualify.  Centre court at Wimbledon is a spectacular achievement and the competition is tough. Wimbledon carries a certain air, a sense of charm, aspiration and nobility. The historic grounds and grass courts gently persuade you to feel like a gin and tonic would be appropriate about now.  Even the contenders have appeared to dignify themselves in all-white apparel for this tournament.

Every year, new players manage a glimpse of the elite and a hopeful spot for the future. But it is the favourites who give the greatest spectator pleasure. Roger Federer seems to be back in form and does not disappoint. One of the most gracious and gentlemen-like players, he is a always a delight to watch. Unfortunately for me, time differences mean a few late nights are in order.  But it just needs to be done - you can't watch the replay, it has to be live and in the moment!

Yoga

It is so nice to get back to a yoga routine.  The past few weeks have been crazy with long hours at work and uni exams. The stretching, meditation and sweating create a sense of revitalisation.  Yes sweating - in yoga.  I like hot yoga and every class runs for 90 minutes. I stumbled across it when an injury prevented me from running anymore. Its the most amazing sense of being  The heat warms your muscles and builds cardio, the deep breathing creates an internal heat and relaxes your mind. The poses stretch and lengthen physically while expanding your awareness.  I have been an avid practitioner for a number of years now and I find if I don't keep it regular, my life begins to feel incomplete and a little bit unbalanced. Just love that feeling of renewed energy after every class.  Namaste.

The death of an icon

Everyone is talking about the death of Michael Jackson.  Its in every news forum in every medium.   I was never a huge fan but its hard to ignore a unique talent.  As a child Jackson received instant recognition, thrown into the adult world of corruption and deceit. Granted his behaviour and body image developed into something beyond odd at times but who are we to criticise this man who has never had a 'normal' life. Jackson was a multi-millionaire and this songwriter, musician and choreographer was probably worth every cent. Was he happy?  I doubt it.  Paedophile? Maybe. Personally, I was never convinced either way but I do know that Michael Jackson had a significant impact on the music industry. Everybody knows at least a few of his songs.  It is only the great iconic musical artists who have achieved this.  Think of Elvis, The Beatles or even Abba.  The voyeur in all of us waits to see the next controversy about his passing unfold. Its really quite tragic that even in death he will not have peace. Today, he is gone but the circus in which he lived remains.