Syncronicity

Almond Tree in Blossom, Pierre Bonnard (c.1945)

As 2009 comes to an end, I cannot help but feel a sense of relief. The thought of a new year, a fresh perspective, some lessons learnt and a full moon seems all too inviting.

For so many people, this past year has been unsettling. We each have had our different struggles with work, finances, relationships or more personal issues like what is my life purpose, why am I on this path or how can I change the path I am on? Regardless, these are all shifts on a spiritual level. Those who are consciously aware of the current changes around us embrace them, difficult as they may be. Others are unaware of the spiritual significance on a conscious level as they feel the effects of a transformation that is not fully understood.

There are other connections to this shift in Mother Earth such as the dramatic weather patterns and climate changes. I believe the connection relates to the upcoming change in dimension as spoken of in the 2012 Mayan calendar. It was explained to me simply in that we are currently in the Age of Aquarius, and this new dimension, this shift, will be the next Age.

It is synchronicity.

I don’t believe there will be catastrophic disasters of extreme magnitude as seen in the movie. The changes in weather that we see are simply Mother Earth’s way of rectifying the planet, to rebalance the damage that man has caused through industrialised capitalism. Clearly, digging up the planet for natural resources and sucking her dry is not the answer to our political problems. But this is another blog entirely!

Limitations

Eugene Delacroix, Liberty Leading the People (1830)

We each of us create our own limitations in life. Limitations are usually established from fear and can prevent us from moving forward on our life journey. The fear to step outside of the box or beyond what we consider normal, the fear to try something new or to be different can be overwhelming. Fear is a very real thought process of our daily life. It is so much easier to stick to what we know, to choose the path that we usually take – the comfortable, safe route.

The notion of breaking free from limitations was raised at one of my yoga classes with reference to finding the courage to try a new pose. I stopped, took a few breaths and focussed on the pose. I realised that what the teacher was saying was true. Once I tried the posture, it became obvious that it really was not as difficult as I thought. With a little more practice and determination I would only improve and eventually I would be able to maintain the pose with confidence. I have already seen this come to fruition with my practice in many other poses.

But then it dawned on me that this thought process could easily be applied to every aspect of life. To keep going forward, we need to embrace change, open our eyes to new opportunities and learn from others. There is no reason to limit ourselves, only to believe.

A message

Leonardo da Vinci, Vatruvian Man (1487)

Last nights yoga class was amazing. The summer heat and humidity meant that the heaters were not required. It wasn't long before I had created enough internal heat to begin sweating. As I tried to reconnect to my fading practice, I felt strong. It felt good to return to a class I once considered a regular and a favourite.

I never anticipate the message I pick up on during class but I always seem to receive one. And tonight's message was to remember that the ninety minutes I spend in class is for me. Even though there is a class full of other yogi's with similar intentions, the teacher reminded us to close our eyes and imagine there was no-one else around. This draws the attention within to what we feel, rather than relying on the mirrors or what we think the posture should look like. Sometimes, this is counter productive and we lose our balance. But I find it does help. Closing the eyes assists in creating a better focus and as our strength improves, so does our balance.

And I did make this class about me, for me. I concentrated on my breath to flow with every move. I shut my mind to the chatter and distraction. I focused on my practice only. It was exhilarating.

Transition

As I transition through this shift, I am overwhelmed with apathy. I manage to get by at work with doing the absolute minimum. My desire to be creative is slim and my need to attend yoga is minimal.

I feel constantly exhausted. I am completely burnt out.

It feels like I have been forced to stop, to take the time to step back, reassess and enjoy life. I am struggling with the internal mental battle of accepting that I don't need to go to yoga every day. My mind keeps telling me I should be going to yoga while my body just wants to rest. It is hard to switch that voice off - it's like a plague of guilt hanging over me.

Saying 'no' at work has been my greatest respite. I accept that I don't have take responsibility for everything. Actually, I am getting pretty good at not being a control freak at work anymore but I also know it is ok to allow myself to travel through this phase, to allow my body to rest. Sitting still is not something that comes easy for me as someone who usually juggles life and gives 150% in everything.

So I have decided that my health is far more important and it is vital to take some time - often, to nurture and replenish.

Thank you to my friends who continue to support me as I travel on this path, providing me with your guidance and wisdom.

Transformation

In searching for my mojo - my inspiration, creativity and zest for life, I have entrenched myself into meditation. Meditating daily to reflect, explore and just see what comes up. I particularly enjoy meditating in nature, taking in the green energy from plant life. Nature has so much energy. It is a healing source in abundance.

Through my meditation, and contemplation, I have realised that I place a lot of pressure on myself. At work I feel that I must be seen at certain events or to do certain things because of my position. At home I become displaced if I don't participate in a minimum number of yoga classes per week, or if I don't keep up with the course work set by my uni lecturers. I have created rules in my life and have abided by these for so many years that it is now a difficult cycle to break.

Since falling ill, I have begun to really listen to my body and inner intuition. I have started to take the time to nurture my needs and it is as if the illness has forced me to do this. The human body is a complex and intelligent system - it is quite likely this is exactly what it was doing.

But more than this, I look at so many things differently - in every aspect of my life. I am asking myself questions that I thought I knew the answers to. My spiritual curiosity is at its forefront and I am seeking knowledge through other spheres. My astral communication and visualisation is highly active through my dreams. This can be a lot of information to absorb, but I feel that perhaps I am now ready to receive these messages and, just maybe, this whole experience has been a necessary role in my transformation.