Anger

With regular meditation my mind has become clearer in so many ways. I no longer question my intuition. My sense of precision and mental aptitude is lucid. Things about myself have become apparent but I can no longer lull in the bliss of ignorance now that I am aware. Some of my experiences have been quite profound, to the point of remembering a previous life. And in this realisation I have a better understanding of my purpose in this life.

What I didn’t expect is the borage of emotions that would follow. The one that stands out most for me is the anger. For the past few weeks I have experienced a sense of anger that is uncharacteristic. I couldn’t understand where this was coming from. Work has been busy but not enough to make me feel like this. Then that awareness popped up again and it all fell into place, it made sense. It all made sense, my whole life.

At first I was filled with overwhelming sadness to realise my past existence, a soldier during one of the Great Wars. I was very young and died a horrible tragic death, as did most of my friends and thousands of others. It was all so unnecessary. I died before I had the chance to fulfil that life’s purpose. My lack of prosperity in that life meant that I had so much more to do this time around. Unfortunately it has taken nearly half of this lifetime to get to this point and I know that I simply cannot complete all that I have to do in the time left for this physical body. I have to come back, again. I was so angry, so very angry. How could I let this happen? How could I let time slip by like this? I don't want to have to come back.

But it is not up to me. Call it divine intervention, Mother Earth, the Goddess, whichever, I am exactly where I need to be. So with this I have been able to move forward and breathe, let go of the intensity and let it be. It has been an amazing experience, remembering, and the roller coaster of emotions – it is good to feel, as it is truly living.