Over it

Sleep of Reason, Goya 1797

I have blogged before about trying to find balance between a demanding job and part-time study. I feel pretty bad that I can't seem to manage the ups and downs of my life when I don't have to juggle a family as well. I know plenty of people who do all of this and then go home to look after the family at the end of the day. At the same time, I have friends who share my sentiment and feel its is doubly hard to manage doing it all alone.

A colleague at work suggested I read a book called Thirty Something and Over It, for a laugh if nothing else. Sure enough, the book was very easy to relate to and hit home on a number of issues especially since the author worked in a very similar environment. I started to question what it is that I actually do. I mean, I know what I do on a day to day basis but I can't see how this really adds value to society, let alone to my life. Working for large corporations lack substance and meaning. It seems to be largely fluff and fold.

So back to this book. By the end I realised that everyone absolutely needs balance in their life. To continue to work for heartless conglomerates one must have other interests. It is imperative to make time for relationships, family, friends, hobbies, sports and general down time. Lets face it, big corporations simply pay better so the opportunity to maintain a reasonable lifestyle is available and largely the reason why so many people do it. Money certainly isn't everything but it can make life a little easier and it can also allow time to focus on the things that are important to us, so long as the balance is there.

For almost two weeks now I have reduced my working hours to somewhat 'normal'. Well, its probably still longer than some of my peers but its considerably less than before and I feel like a completely different person. Its amazing how easy it is to get sucked into the dredge of being at work for lengthy hours week after week. Its too easy and it shouldn't be. In fact, its harder to make the effort for change but the results are wondrous.

Release

The last few weeks have taken me on an emotional roller coaster.  I think it is just life's way of reminding me that it can't always be a bed of roses, so to speak. Funnily enough, I have never thought my life was easy with everything falling into place but I have finally felt as though I was comfortable where I knew what I wanted and which direction I was headed. Its only taken me thirty something years to get here but I can honestly say I am happy.  No sense in a good thing going on for too long now is there!

When I suffer emotional turmoil, I especially feel it in my hips - as do many women.  The hips is the emotional store house and mine just ache. My first yoga class after a few days off was difficult.  A class that I normally breeze through and hold my poses with strength and integrity became weak and overwhelming.  This is a good, it means all that stuff is releasing, freeing me from my angst.  By the end of that class I felt so much more open, not just in my hips but in my heart as well. The next few classes I went to all seemed to have a lot of emphasis on hip opening stretches and boy did I feel it - that horse is a killer! But there are so many fantastic hip opening poses in yoga like frog or half pigeon.

Yoga has so many benefits.  I first started to attend Bikram classes after four months in physio from a running injury. It was the nearest adrenaline rush to a good run.  But now, I love the mental aspect, the meditation, as well as the health benefits and strength that naturally develops. 

Recently, a chiropractor suggested I have some x-rays of my spine which revealed some damage from a fall I had about twenty years ago.  So it seems the running injury was just an offset from my spine damage. In a way, its nice to finally know that all these years of discomfort was real and not in my head.  I'm not a crazy lady! The scary part is that no-one bothered to investigate before now.  Luckily for me, its just a matter of re-educating my spine to limber up in certain areas. Yoga is now a way of life.